A Family’s Journey toward Restoration…

This article is being published in this issues of the Chalmer's Center: Mandate.  I have posted it here for your enjoyment!_______________________________________________________

Rebekah and her daughter, Averie, represent one of 6,000 low-income families headed by single mothers in Knoxville, TN. Rebekah is a motivated young mother who tried her best to provide for her newborn daughter, but lacked the support needed to make the next step toward self-sufficiency. Before coming to The Restoration House of East Tennessee (www.therestorationhouse.net), she was homeless, living in a shelter in order to leave an abusive relationship, only to find herself alone, without an income, a home, an education, or any dreams for the future.

The Restoration House is a faith-based organization helping to restore single mothers and their children back to God’s good intent for their lives through supportive transitional housing, team mentoring, and service planning that focuses on the family’s relationship with God, self, others, and the rest of creation.

In November of 2007, Rebekah began her journey toward restoration by moving into one of TRH’s supportive housing units and meeting her team of seven mentors for the first time. Six months later, Rebekah recorded these thoughts about that experience:

I came into The Restoration House not knowing exactly what to expect, just hoping to get some help & support in making a life for myself and my daughter.  I came with my mind as open as possible, considering the not- so-great past I’ve had.  I didn’t grow up feeling like life had too much of a support system to offer.  I have to say, meeting all of my mentors was quite overwhelming.  I mean what do you expect when you meet a bunch of strangers that are supposed to love, help, support, and to form a bond with you?  Now that I know them, they are a lot like family and I love them as if they are. And as the months have gone by so quickly, amongst all the issues I’ve been trying to overcome, I slowly feel as though life is changing for the better.  Doors are opening and I am growing mentally and spiritually.  Who would have thought???

When a family like Rebekah’s comes to TRH, a lot of time is spent in the first few weeks both listening to and getting to know the family. Although every family at TRH pays an adjusted rent for a supportive housing unit and has a mentor team, almost every other aspect of the program is unique to that particular family’s situation. Hence, instead of having a one-size-fits-all blueprint for each family, TRH tries to journey alongside a single mother and her children, believing that the family’s unique strengths, history, and future goals need to be understood and appreciated. The mother meets weekly with a Family Advocate, who helps her begin to explore the areas of her family’s life that are in need of restoration. While the Family Advocate facilitates the process, each single mother participates in the process by working to envision the family’s future and setting goals and initiating the action steps necessary to achieve them. The Family Advocate is then able to help hold the mother accountable, as well as contribute to the family’s long-term plan through resource development. Another crucial element is the team of mentors who simultaneously provides the relational and practical support the family needs to stay motivated and encouraged and to achieve personal success.

Throughout their relationship with the family, both the Family Advocate and the mentors must minimize their own thoughts and assumptions about what the family needs in order to appropriately focus on the question: “What is God’s good intent for the family?” which often is not obvious. However, failure to maintain such a focus can cause frustration for the participating family due to the pressure of trying to live up to the Family Advocate and mentors’ personal expectations of “success” and “wholeness”.

A family is able to stay at TRH for up to two years. Every six months each mother participates in a feedback session where the TRH staff and mentors encourage the family in the progress made while also sharing observations around particular areas of improvement. Within this time, the mother is also given the opportunity to share her own insights that might improve the TRH program as a whole as well evaluate her personal experience with her mentors.

The TRH program is driven by a Five-Way Partnership model, where:

• STAFF: provide support, training, accountability, and collaboration
• MENTORS: provide support and friendship
• COMMUNITY PARTNERS: provide support and direct services, such as counseling, job training, financial education, fitness opportunities, etc.
• THE FAMILY: is a proactive partner working toward restoration in their relationships with God, self, others, and the rest of creation
• GOD: directs and holds together the process

The Restoration House aids in linking the assets of the broader community with the assets found within the participating family in order to encourage transformation. The gifts and abilities of each family are affirmed and leveraged in the journey towards restoration. TRH families live as a community, in close proximity, as they utilize their strengths to help propel one another toward wholeness.

Although a family often has numerous assets upon which to build, the families with whom TRH work almost always lack educational and housing assets. Many of these women were deprived of the opportunity to dream for themselves and their children.

Individual Development Accounts (IDA), savings programs in which external funds are used to match each dollar the family saves, are one way TRH can build upon the assets a family already possesses. By leveraging assets such as hard work and determination and a consistent pattern of saving, a family is able to grow their dreams into reality. Those who match a family’s IDA are investing in the family’s own investment for their future. This kind of investment can change a person, a family, and even a whole community. The Restoration House is now partnering with Covenant Community Capital (www.covenantcapital.org) of Houston, Texas and the Chalmers Center to bring the possibilities that come with IDAs to low-income single mothers in East Tennessee.

As a single mother, Rebekah never thought it would be possible to go to college or to own a home. But with IDAs and support from TRH and her team of mentors, she not only is dreaming like she never has before, but she is actually experiencing the fulfillment of these dreams.

Rebekah’s journey toward restoration has just begun, and although there is a long road yet to travel, she has renewed hope for her family’s future. In her own words,

I want to be able to look back 5 years from now, in my house with a white picket fence (husband or not) and see how much I've overcome. I want to see in my daughter’s eyes that I have done for her the best I can. I want to know that with all the help I was given, that I did the best I can.

For Rebekah and her daughter, along with the other four families currently journeying with The Restoration House, the future is promising and full of possibilities. It is their hard work and determination that is paving the way.